Monday, 6 June 2011


Firstly, let me say, I now have two followers...yes, count that...TWO!  Happy day again.  Thank you Judy, I did smile when I saw your pretty face appear on this page.

Well, its Monday.  The start of another week.  Today, as has been the norm for the last few weeks, was another crazy one.  I feel like I am being pulled into so many directions.  The staff grow, the demands grow, yet I remain, just one.  Interestingly enough, last week I overpaid someone by £14,000.00.  Only found out today when they phoned me to say they couldn't reconcile their accounts and was wondering why I had sent so much money.  I don't know where I came up with the figure that I did, it was a totally random number, but I did smile to myself when I realised what had happened and thought, yep, this is how it all starts falling down.  Its not like I haven't said....I NEED HELP....I've said it a number of times, but for now, other concerns appear to be more important, so lets hope I don't get sick, or, I happen to overpay someone else by £140,000.00 instead of just 14 or fail to submit a report in time.  We shall see how that goes down when that does happen.  They have been warned.

Anyway, that's my rant over with.  What I wanted to talk about is changes.

We all go through stages in ours lives.  Periods where you become focused on this, or that, or times when things make sense in a particular way.  I don't know if I am making much sense here, but, I feel like I am finally finding a change in my mindset.  I have been in a weird place, for quite a long time now.  I am not saying I'm not still in that weird place, but I'm starting to feel different about it.  I don't know if this is wishful thinking, or me trying to convince myself, but the weight is starting to lift.  I believe I am starting to see much more clearly now.

Again, ask me in a week or month from now if I still think this and I may have to rewrite this post, or delete it completely as utter bullshit.  But I do believe its time to change, and to take control of my life and what I want.
I see this as a very positive thing.

And just writing this down, is making me smile.  I so need to smile and stop dwelling.

That's it for me today.  Happy week all.

B x

P.S. Quentin or Jonathan, if you are reading this....I NEED HELP!


jholl said...

good for you, grabbing the bull by the horns like that. Your blog is refreshing compared to my venting one. LOL

Bernadette Davies said...

You have a blog? let me have the link please?

and thank you :) x