Monday 30 January 2012

TMI

When I first started doing this blog, the intention thereof was to jot down my thoughts and my feelings about things that were important or that meant something to me. I am not sure about how things work for you, but for me, the mere effort to get things written (typed) down on paper/screen does absolute wonders for me. It's as if I unburden myself of whatever is bothering me, and normally, the sad/upset feelings go away until another day.  Obviously, one needs to deal with some things directly and simple blogging won't take care of everything, but for a way to put things into prospective, this is it for me.

When I first created this blog, I'm not sure what I was thinking.  Yes, I wanted people to read it, but in a way, I knew some things I said here would be personal.  The question of just how much I wanted to share often came up and I have found myself often moving the boundaries.  There are those close to me, who, initially I would not have wanted to read my rantings, but after a while I realised that this was me, warts and all.  So what you see here, is what you get from me.  No hiding.

But how much is too much information?  Where do you draw the line?  I follow quite a few blogs, some of them personal, some of them marketing their work.  Everyone has their own reason for blogging.  As I said before, I use mine to put down in words what I feel.  But what if the reader of this blog could potentially be hurt by something that I've written?  Some things are meant to be private, like a diary, but this has become in a way, my diary, yet I do bulk at some of the things I sometimes have a huge need to blog about.

I guess, I could create another one?  Somewhere only I know about?  But why put something on the Internet that you want to remain private?  Nothing is ever private or hidden if its on the World Wide Web.  So, maybe I should start a written diary?  Something with a lock and key?! 

I am really not liking that idea at all.  

So, tell me please - you, reader - reading this right now, how much is too much information?  Or should this be the place where I lay my soul bare as was my original intention? And take the praise and sometimes, the punches that may come from that?

Bx

Wednesday 25 January 2012

Attack!

Last night, wasn’t a good night.  At around 10.30pm I went to bed and as per my usual nightly routine, lay and read a few pages of the latest book I was reading.  I must have started nodding off, like I usually do, and at 11pm I turned out the light and went to sleep.  I have recently had a bad cold, and this time, just like every other time that I have a cold, I am always left with a cough that seems to kick into its worst gear the minute the lights go out.  So, there I lay, coughing and getting more irritated by the minute.  At 1.30am I got up and ventured downstairs to have some cough mixture.  On my way downstairs I noticed Chloe’s light was on.  Chloe is my niece and has been living with us since August.  She had been out for the evening and at the time I had gone to bed, had not got home yet.  I noted to myself that she was home so all was well in the world.
As per our latest electricity lecture by my husband, there were no lights on downstairs, so I made my way in the darkness to the lounge and then grabbed my handbag and dug out my cough syrup and took a good swig of it.  However, the tickle in my throat didn’t immediately go away and I thought it was probably best I just spent another night on the couch.  I know how I would feel if I had to put up with listening to someone cough all night long when I wanted to get some sleep so I thought it best to stay downstairs.
I grabbed some blankets and made myself a little bed on the sofa.  Just before I lay down to sleep, I stared for a few seconds out the window and all seemed peaceful and quiet outside. I was aware of how late it was so decided that the best course of action for me now was to get some sleep and so I lay down and closed my eyes.

Then, I heard voices.

I couldn’t hear what was being said, but I could clearly hear people talking and it was right outside the window! 
I sat up and looked out and there, no more than a metre away from me, with only a pane of glass separating us stood two men. They had come into my garden and were now standing right outside the lounge window and they were talking.  Even though I could hear their voices, it wasn’t clear enough for me to hear what they were saying.
You can imagine my shock!
I quickly ducked my head down and started to creep out the lounge desperately hoping they wouldn’t look inside and see me.
I made it to the lounge door, quickly opened it and headed for the stairs. 
I don’t know why I didn’t think to go for the phone to call the police?  Nor why I didn’t make a dash for the kitchen to get some sort of weapon to defend myself.  Instead, I was adamant to get upstairs and to wake Pete up. 
As I made it across the passage and stepped on the first step, I looked toward the front door and saw that it stood open!  It was'nt standing wide open, only a few inches but the first thing I thought was: ‘Chloe!  She had come in and not locked the door behind her’!
I don’t mind telling you that a panic was starting to descend on me.
I made a mad dash for upstairs, but had only gone up about 6 stairs when I heard a noise and turned around.  The front door was swinging open. They were coming inside!
I watched, horror struck as three, not two guys started making their way into my house and it was only when one of them looked up and saw me that I let out the loudest scream I could possibly make, whilst at the same time turning around and trying to make it up the rest of way to the first floor.  One of the men, the one with shoulder length brown, thinning hair chased after me, but by some amazing stroke of luck, Pete had heard my scream and seemed to know exactly what needed to be done and as the guy with the long hair came chasing me up the stairs, Pete came flying down them.
It was at the stage when Pete wrestled the second bad guy, who had a bald head, to the ground in the dining room that I started to wonder if this was really happening.
By this time, the first guy who had chased after me had caught up with me and instead of dragging me down the stairs, merely clamped my arms to the side of my body and held me with a vice-like grip so that I couldn't move. As the two of us stood there, I became pretty convinced that something was not quite right when he appeared to more interested in watching the wrestling that was going on on the floor in the dining room which we both could see from our vantage point.
The third guy, one with short cropped black hair, was still stood by the front door and appeared to be making no attempt to run away, or save his buddy who was clearly losing his fight against Pete.
 
I took all of this in.  And then, my fear suddenly drained away. I was dreaming all this wasn’t I?

Indeed I was.
 
How crazy was it that my dream picked up from exactly the same moment that I fell asleep, almost as if I never had.  What made it so real was the fact that from wake state to dream state, the scene around me didn’t change at all.
 
Being attacked by three strange men in my own home rapidly ceased to frighten me, and I don’t really remember much of what happened after that.  All I do remember was feeling this huge sense of relief the moment I realised this was all a dream and that the thieves no longer posed me any threat.

Bx

Monday 23 January 2012

Hurt

Hurt

Goosebumps march across my skin
As I feel my way along the floor
Desperately trying to find the door
Every surface I must explore
Of this dark room that I'm in.

He'd hurt me when he'd grabbed me
For I had not seen him there
His hand striking out, grabbing my hair
My life plunged straight into a nightmare
Fear and dread now my reality.

And then I'd smelt his stinking breath
And though I did not know his name
To him, I knew this was a game
My heart raced, and my legs went lame
And I knew this meant my death

And even though I tried to shout
My mouth would not utter a sound
And lying bleeding on the ground
There's no one to save me, no one around
It was then I felt my world fade-out

And now in the dark, as I awaken
Unconsciously shed tears dried on my face
What and where was this awful place?
And of him there appears to be no trace
Or could I be mistaken?
~Bernadette~
~21/01/2012~

Sunday 22 January 2012

Pajama Club

I may, or I may not have mentioned before that I am a co-author on another blog called the Pyjama Club.  It's a blog that a number of lovely ladies and myself write short articles and poetry about things that are important to us.  We also have a theme week and will then write something on the nominated topic.  The topic this week was pets, and I've just done one on my dog Roxie. I am linking back to it if you want to read it, and perhaps read some of the other great pieces done.  Read it here 'Unconditional Love'

I set myself a to-do list this weekend.  One was to finish off a poem I was doing for Jane Isaac as she has asked me to guest blog for her. (I cannot tell you how honoured I was to be asked that!) and I can now tick that off as done.  I'm not sure if she will like the poem, but I have given her an opt out if she needs it, (I have literally turned myself inside out doing that one!) but if it does get published I will link back to her site.

Secondly was to do a blog posting.   I am doing that right now and have done the one for PJ's.
And thirdly was to finish Jane Isaac's novel 'An Unfamiliar Murder'.  Now, unless I walk away from this computer right now and switch on my kindle, I will not be able to finish it today.  I am only about 20% of the way through, and I have to be honest, I am plenty surprised by how much I am enjoying it.  I'll review the book once I'm done.  At which time, I will rave about it and this very exciting up and coming novelist. 

So, I guess 2 out of 3 isn't bad?  I know I really ought to do more blogging.  Its not that I don't think about it, I do.  And once I sit myself down in front of the PC and start typing, the words just flow freely.  But I am so easily distracted by things such as Twitter and TV series and whatever, that its something I have to physically make myself do.  
Like most people, I can be emotional.  And I always find that I do my best work when I'm morbid or emotionally upset about something.  When I'm happy etc, its just that little bit harder.  I'll try sort it out!

Bx

Friday 20 January 2012

The Versatile Blogger Award


Well, imagine my excitement and bewilderment last night when I was informed I had been nominated for the ‘Versatile Blogger Award’.  A huge grin appeared on my face and I hurriedly tried to find out everything I could to see what it was I could be winning. I say ‘could be winning’ when indeed I ‘HAD already won’ but it took a few tweets and a few re-reads to finally get it!  I was having a slow night ‘brain-wise’ last night.  So, needless to say, I was ecstatic to hear the news and couldn’t wait to get in front of my PC so I could do my bit and spread the love.  So, thank you so much for the nomination Rod , you are an amazing gem I’ve recently had the privilege to get to know and I haven’t forgotten my little Pingu project today. 

Ok - here's what a versatile blogger should do upon receiving the award. As mentioned above, I was nominated this award by Rod Tyson.  Please check out his amazing blog here: http://rodtysonblog.blogspot.com/ You can also follow him on twitter on @rodtyson100


Now please do the following:
1. Nominate 15 fellow bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award.
2. Add an image of the Versatile Blogger Award.
3. In the same post, thank the blogger who nominated you in a post with a link back to their blog.
4. In the same post, share 7 completely random pieces of information about yourself.
5. In the same post, include this set of rules.
6. Inform each nominated blogger of their nomination by posting a comment on each of their blogs.

The 7 random things about myself are…..ummm ….

1) I have a few random obsessions…One of them is my obsession with the story of the sinking of Titanic.
 
2) Another one of my obsessions is my morbid curiosity about serial killers.  I will devour any bit of information I can find on them.

3) When I was a teenager, my mates and I used to break into empty houses, plug in a telephone and phone random people all over the world.

4) I once got struck by lightening, through the ear piece of the handset of a telephone. 

5) I see the occasional dead person and a 12/13 year old ghost girl currently lives in my house

6) I have seen the movie Titanic 21 times!

7) Gregory Peck - the actor,  is my cousin – something like 5 times removed.
 
Nominees – Please do take the time to check these out.  They are awesome.

Caffeine’s not a crime - http://www.janeisaac.co.uk/blog/
Where the Streets lights go - http://wherethestreetlightsgo.blogspot.com/
Bella Street, Romance with a touch of weird http://bellastreetwrites.blogspot.com/
Thoughts from me - http://kasilou.blogspot.com/
Andrew Simpson Says - http://www.andrew-simpson.com/