Saturday, 14 April 2012

Flash Fiction - Once Upon A Time Writing Contest - The tooth is out there

I did this once before and wanted to give it another bash.  Anne Meade and Susi Holliday are hosting another flash fiction competition here: Once Upon a Time Writing Contest so here is my entry at 349 words. I hope you enjoy.

The tooth is out there

‘So what you do, is put your tooth in your slipper, and leave it for the tooth fairy to come take away in the night’ Rachel explained to Matthew who had just lost his first milk tooth and was jumping up and down with excitement at the prospect of earning his first 20p.
Matthew ran upstairs and proudly put the tooth in the slipper as his mum had instructed.  Then, slipping the slipper under his bed, he made sure that Rex the dog wouldn’t steal it before the tooth fairy had a chance to collect and leave his little money treasure.

Rachel smiled to herself as she watched Matthew descend from the stairs, who was grinning to himself as if he had just completed a very serious mission.
‘Now remember Matthew, the tooth fairy wont come if you are not sleeping.’ She made sure he understood, for she knew that with all this excitement it would be hours before he finally fell asleep.
‘I think I will go to bed early tonight Mommy’ Matthew said ‘can I have my bath now?’
‘Of course’ Rachel smiled and they both headed upstairs.

At 7.30am the next morning, Rachel’s alarm clock went off and rolling over, she nudged Peter. ‘Did you remember to put 20p in Matthew’s slipper last night before you came to bed?’
‘No,’ Peter replied, ‘I thought you were doing it?’
‘Oh no!’ Rachel exclaimed and jumped out of bed hoping that with any luck he would still be sleeping.

Tiptoeing towards Matthew’s bedroom Rachel could hear him talking to himself. Dread washed over her as she realised how disappointed he would be thinking that the tooth fairy had not remembered him.
Slowly she opened the door and peered inside.
Matthew was sat giggling on the bed, happily counting out his money. Looking up and seeing Rachel he exclaimed ‘Look how much money I got Mommy!’ and he held up what seemed to amount to £1 worth of change to her.
Puzzled, Rachel opened the door all the way so Peter could also see and asked ‘Are you sure?’



20 comments:

SJIHolliday said...

Aww, love this! If only... :) Thanks for entering!

Bernadette Davies said...

Thanks for doing the competition. Glad you liked :))

Evermore Evil said...

A lovely little piece with a heart-warming ending. Absolutely wonderful, and full of fairy tale charm. Great stuff!

Bernadette Davies said...

Thank you Cory. I enjoyed writing it. Really looking forward to yours!

Meg McNulty said...

Very sweet! And he got a bonus raise :-)

Bernadette Davies said...

Thank you Meg :) Think Matthew was better off placing all bets on the fairy in future!

Jane Isaac said...

What a lovely story, Bernadette with a magical twist at the end. I felt his journey with his little tooth. Enchanting. Wish you all the best with your entry. You rock!

Veronica Stewart said...

As always, an inspired piece of writing. Heartwarming with a suprise ending . Love it xx

Bernadette Davies said...

Thank you Jane and Nicky :) Lovely of you both to say :) Once upon a time stories should always have happy endings I think? x

moonduster said...

What a cute story! There have been way too many nights when the tooth fairy has just been "too busy" to make it to our house on the first night. ;) (And she always brings £1.)

Bernadette Davies said...

Awww thank you Moonduster. The tooth fairy once forgot to stop at ours when my son lost one of his teeth. Had to distract him whilst dropping the coin in the shoe the next morning. I'm not sure if he bought my 'tooth fairy was just here! I saw him' story, when he turned his back around.

Anonymous said...

Very nice bernadette, I had no idea you were such an exceptional writer, wish you the best of luck with your contest.... R.Ch.

Bernadette Davies said...

Thank you very much R.Ch ....now if you could give me a lil hint as to who you are, I would be ever so grateful. :)

Anonymous said...

I remember something like that once with M while you were still here. Lovely story Bernadette. love M XX

Angela said...

Precious. Subtle and swift at the end does the trick!

Bernadette Davies said...

So do I M. In fact, it was that story that prompted me to write this one. xxx

Angela, thank you very much for your comment :)

Ang said...

Super sweet story. Love it!

Bernadette Davies said...

Thank you Ang!

Cameron Writes said...

You've proved me right - see? All you have to do is believe. Lovely, thank you.

Bernadette Davies said...

Cameron, thank you. That's a lovely thing to say.